It's hard. this life thing. i got a very disturbing email from someone I thought was a friend. It has made me realize yet again that the people you think you can trust may not be what you thought they were....not the person that sent the email per se. cause I expect nothing less from him, but from his information source. Someone I have known a long time. Someone who is bound and determine to fix what they think is broken in me. Someone who doesn't understand that I am happy with my life. If I really wanted things to change, i would get out there and make it happen. She doesn't know because she has never been where I am. She married young and has a big family. Well, I don't, and sure someday I would like to have a husband and kids...but right now...I don't. I am not tied down. I am living a life I choose. I can travel, I can sleep til 11 on the weekends. I can do what I want without having to answer to anyone but myself. She can't understand that I don't get lonely, I don't feel sorry for myself. I enjoy my life the way it is for now. Not everyone is the same and just because I don't have the same kind of life she sees as right or "perfect", doesn't mean it isn't perfect for me. And as for the writer of the email. He likes to take the word of others instead of coming to the source first. He is scared of the hard things in life. the things that might be difficult. I will be the first to admit I am afraid of confrontation. I grew up with it and I don't care to have it in my life if unnecessary. But it comes to a point where it is necessary, because people, me included, have crappy communication skills. and trust issues. But its unavoidable. so I am struggling with a way to respond to this email, because some pretty nasty things were said. and some assumptions made based on misleading information. and I really want to come back just as nasty as I was hit. But I know that I can't. That would feed the fire and at this point I got my bucket of water and sand....and I am ready to put that fire out and cover it forever. But I have to find a way to set things straight without burning other bridges. I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to be nasty and I don't want to bring in anyone else that may get hurt. So there's a struggle. and it hurts almost as much as the email did. Because in this kind of thing, there isn't a right thing to do other than be honest. and that is the worst thing because that will hurt him more than anything and I care too much to hurt him. But I have to and damn that sucks.
Nothin too exciting today...same old crap. Wendy's screwed up my lunch order..work was BUSY. But I did go to my step nephews PreSchool Graduation. That was too cute....most of those kids could have cared less and the rest were too shy! But Alex did a great job even though he was one of the shy ones. Tonights the American Idol Finale...I am a pretty big fan of Idol...This season has been a bit of a disappointment but I think the best are left up there...Kitties are doing good today, cuter by the minute...they are very meowy today..anyway...I am off to finish watching Idol and then to bed. My life is so exciting I could just scream. argh. :)
In 5 words or less, who are you?
Submitted by dejablu503.
Crazy Cat Lady. Send Tuna.
So..this is my first ever REAL blog. Myspace doesn't count. LOL. This is more for me than anything..just somewhere I can express some thoughts and crap like that. I am not sure how many of my friends would look for me here so I think I can be pretty candid. But yeah...my life is not that interesting, kinda boring with random spurts of drama. I think I am pretty interesting. People tend to laugh alot when I am around....haven't figured out if they are laughing with or AT me...but either way they are laughing and that is important. I love my family...I have a few close friends who mean the world to me. I love my babies..my furbabies that is. I have no doubt that I will end up the "crazy cat lady" all the kids in the neighborhood are scared of. I like tuna so it's all good. I'm prepared. :) Anyway, a little about me. I am 30. Just turned actually. I have a good job, make pretty good money, have a great but somewhat wacky family and I am fairly happy with my life. I am single. I have no real human children, just my furbabies, Belle, Poobee (Poobs) and Smooshie. They keep me sane. Even though they are not. Belle is an old fogey, Poobs has AIDS and Smoosh just had kittens. Yay! So they keep me busy. I will prob blog a good bit about the cats. They are prob the most exciting thing I have going on right now. Well, we'll see anyway. So if you are reading this you prob have not much to do, but I hope you enjoy and hey...new friends are always welcome....and comments....and money...beer...you get the picture. Night!
